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Tips and Advice on Roleplaying in a Virtual Setting

 

This essay was written by me sometime ago for another roleplay group I belonged to. This essay is in regards to all online roleplaying, and is not genre specific. Perhaps this might help others who are trying to better their roleplaying with some hints, advice and tricks. This essay is ©1994-2024 Moon Productions. All rights reserved.

 

Roleplaying has been done for ages — in the physical form. We grew up roleplaying in our childhood, pretending to be pirates, cops, robbers, cowboys, et al. Then more sophisticated roleplaying came along with the invention of Dungeons and Dragons. in which players gathered around in a den, living room, et al, performing an ad-lib game based on rules determined at the start. From Dungeons & Dragons ("D&D"), similar roleplay was created for various interests (fairy worlds, Star Trek, etc.). This sort of roleplay is now commonly referred to as table-top roleplay.

Then the virtual world arrived, chat rooms sprang up, people from all over the world got together, those sharing similar interests forming sub-groups of chat.

Virtual roleplaying is birthed.

Generally along the lines of D&D, roleplay groups, small, motley bands that other chatters thought were geeks or just simply strange beings, eventually developed roleplay rooms based on medieval times, vampires and fairy realms, et al.

Gor is the infamous example of virtual roleplaying. However, unlike others, Gor had no real basis, but rather a set of horribly written books, the author contradictive in much of his information, yet people liked the philosophy Gor had to offer and based roleplay on these books. Of course, everyone has a different opinion of such quotes like, "In every woman there is a slave and a free companion," that started wars among chatters. Was there only red ka-la-na, became the subject of many heated debates.

OY!

But despite the genre of roleplay that you take part in, the general prinicple is description! — VIVID description. Not everyone is a writer, but within each person is the ability to pull off roleplay if you take the initiative to better your performance.

Yes — PERFORMANCE. When you are roleplaying, you are, in effect, performing.

Taut -or- Taunt?

Unlike live roleplay, virtual roleplay must be done totally with the written word. You must come across as realistically as possible by plunking keys on your computer's keyboard. Not an easy task, no, but not particularly difficult if you follow a few simple steps.

Let's explore these steps individually, followed by examples. Please remember, these examples are me, my style and do not copy them.

Describe and Prescribe

There is nothing more aggravating (with the exception of the following step: spelling and grammar) to a roleplayer, than taking the time and creative effort and making a detailed, descriptive post, only to have the person reply with: *nods* When it happens once, as a roleplayer you tend to blow out a steam of air silently. When it happens in a succession of trying to get a roleplay scenario going, yes, there have been many times I have wanted to smack the nodding fool. Though I can't do that, what does happen, unfortunately, as with most frustrated roleplayers in kind, is that lack of interest and a tendency to avoid interaction with that person develops.

  • Stop.
  • Think.
  • Answer.

Roleplay requires you to describe your thoughts, your actions, as well as you speech, to others. When you are engaged in conversation in real-time with your friends, stop and think about inflections you might make, such as:

  • wrinkling of your nose;
  • a wave of your hand;
  • turning your head or tilting it slightly;

Use these inflections in your posts, animate yourself as much as possible. Remember, the others cannot see you physically, so you must paint them a picture to see within their minds.

Express your feelings or thoughts that you might be thinking in your posts. For example, you had been punished the day prior by this person, and today you are feeling — remorseful? fearful? angry?

~she was knelt there, her thighs parted widely, fingers clenching tightly while stormy eyes gazed down, eyebrows knitted tightly … she was trembling, fearful that he might whip her again, and anger stirred in her veins, for she was not the one who had erred, but yet, she was being made to take the punishment for someone else … how dare he! … she thought, her breathing becoming deep and slow, and she realized this, exhaling the anger from her breath … had he seen her arrogance?~

Spelling and Grammar

As stated previously (and will be stated often!) the important thing to remember is that the others cannot see you physically, so you must paint them a picture to see within their minds. In painting this picture, you must be both realistic AND pleasing! Each roleplayer serves a purpose in the overall roleplaying scene. Free/Dominant men are the natural leaders and must give the other roleplayers that sense he truly is a leader, someone to look up to, regardless if he's a wizard or a warrior. A free/dominant woman too is the leader among women, and a role-model for many. Sitting around doing nothing is not going to gain you respect; you have to be active in your field/caste/persona. A slave is a sensual erotic creature, but horribly written posts filled with misspelled words is not pleasing to the eye and detracts from you greatly.*

Get yourself a good thesaurus and dictionary. For those who can't afford to buy one, there are online dictionaries and thesauri out there. I highly recommend Miriam-Webster: http://www.m-w.com

* PLEASE NOTE: This is by no means a way of putting down people with disabilities, such as dyslexia. I myself suffer vision problems that oftentimes make it difficult for me to read chatroom screens. The use of a word processing program to type my posts only very slightly slowed down my postings.

Now. Compare the two paragraphs:

Teh Schlosshotel Lerbach nessstels amuongest rulling hilsl ina brethtakengally booutifull perrk. Its indvidulaly steyled, ellephant roosm and suits crate teh inperession of a statly cuntry hoem. With ist metto "wehere dreems cum true", thes gran manner with its romantcic flare ishome toone of Germany's bset resteraunts.

- versus -

The Schlosshotel Lerbach nestles amongst rolling hills in a breathtakingly beautiful park. Its individually styled, elegant rooms and suites create the impression of a stately country home. With its motto "where dreams come true", this grand manor with its romantic flair is home to one of Germany's best restaurants.

Be honest and think about these two paragraphs. Does the first one even begin to catch your interest? Does it paint for you that picturesque image of an elegant manor?

Please remember, the following examples are me, my style from an other-realms character that I play, and do not copy them. Compare now these two paragraphs:

~seh emergd from teh shaddows into teh main room, her hips swaying provacatve, the swet curves of her undalating... her long tresles of hony cascading done, frayming her form, teh hilits of her hare capture from teh lamps of teh room cazing her 2 appear as if she dropped molden gold.... seh appraoches teh centter of the room, here lith boddy exposed, the soft curves nad valleys of her form defined... she appoaches him, folding herself to teh floor, her knees kissssing it's coolness, sliding widely 2 part so tha the might view teh moist treasures of her being... see place a swet brow to hers pine lifting her full beasts, nippels taut, thick wit hher heatd blood... her hands rests on the spans of soft tight flash, plams lifted... herr round as is nestled with in teh cradel of here cushoned hells, crulea polls casted lowe... godlen tresles spilling down behind her, pooling a ther foot~

- versus -

~she emerged from the shadows into the main room, her hips swaying provocatively, the sweet curves of her undulating... her long tresses of honey cascading down, framing her form, the highlights of her hair captured by the lamps of the room causing her to appear as if dripping in molten gold.... she approaches the center of the room, her lithe body exposed, the soft curves and valleys of her form defined... she appoaches him, folding herself to the floor, her knees kissing its coolness, sliding widely to part so that he might view the moist treasures of her being... she places a sweet bow to her spine lifting her full breasts, nipples taut, thick with her heated blood... her hands rest on the span of soft thigh flesh, palms upward lifted in display of her submission... her round ass is nestled within the cradle of her cushioned heel, cerulean pools cast low... golden tresses spilling down behind her, pooling at her feet~

So, which paragraph caught your eye? Did you even try to read through the first paragraph? Did it make you desire the girl? Did it make you sense her as a sensual woman? It's not exaggerated by any sense of the word; I have seen posts like that — and worse!

We all make occasional typos, but quite simply, many just don't take the time and don't particularly care to ensure their posts are clean to the reader's eye and sensible.

Help for the Non-Writer

Even if you're not Stephen King or Tom Clancy or Erma Bombeck, you can write well-written descriptive posts if you follow these simple steps.

1. Take your time.

Sometimes, you must make a quick response to a post, however, oftentimes, you do not, as in serving for example. Posts such as these can – and should – be written with care and effort, to please, to delight, to arouse.

What I do, is open a program called Edit-Pad, but other programs such as Word Perfect or Microsoft Word or Wordpad also work just as well, and resize the window so that it is only about one-fourth (1/4th) the size of my monitor screen. I set the program to spell-check and grammar-check as I type, so that they are highlighted. Not only do I type a heck of a lot quicker this way, I can ensure that my posts will be easily readable and pleasing to the eye. I do not have the autoscroll turned on when I'm in a chat room; I simply cannot keep up quick enough and often times have to backscroll. By keeping the autoscroll feature off, I can type my post, with the chat room screen in the background, stopping at times to scroll down, to see if I need to alter my post at all. It sounds complicated, but it's actually simplifies things a lot!

2. Don't clutter your posts.

Antidisestablishmentarianism is representative of hippopotomonstrosesquipedalian floccinaucinihilipilification of the English language; probably manufactured by an antitransubstantiationalist.

Big fancy words are not needed all the time when posting! Yes, you want variety of words, and the use of a thesaurus is a good thing — but it can be a handicap too. The same with being overly descriptive. For example, again compare the two paragraphs (again, please remember all that legal stuff):

~she danced, twirling around, her long shimmering strands of honeyed-gold flying wildly around her small, lithe form, the light in her eyes of cerulean bright, sparkling … her lips were plush, plump, held in a smile of delight as she danced the sinuous curves of her body to his eyes … her flesh moist with perspiration, the scent of her arousal evident in the air~

- versus -

~the very small, delicate girl, lithe, sinuous, feline in her every manner, graceful, sensual, sexual, enticing, for that was the beast that she was, her flesh sun-kissed, sun-raped, teased by the rays of the sun to make her appear golden, danced, twirling round and around, the tendrils of silk that were her long sun-kissed curls, hued temptingly the color of pure gold flying wildly around her small sinuous, lithe, feline form, the iridescent light shining in her almond-shaped sensual eyes of the finest of sapphires blinding-bright, sparkling pools of deepest of sapphirelike blue … her sensual lips were plush, plump tiers, stained a berry-red that smiled tempestuously, delightfuly, a hint of the imp within her being offered in that sensual, seductive, alluring, enthralling smile that radiated out to him, the girl twirled and danced the well-defined, delicious, deep, tempestuous, sinuous curves of her lithe, feline, seductive and tempting body to his eyes so that he might feel the stirrings of arousal at the sight of this wonderful sexual beast before him, her sun-kissed flesh moist with perspiration, the form of her ribcage rippling sun-raped flesh as she inhaled deep respirations of breath, the explosive invasive aroma of her enticing and tempestuous phenomes caused atmospheric conditions of sweltering heat to drive him wild with explosive passion and desire~

Okay, wake up and let's go to the next step.

Oh yeah. By the way. I've seen posts exactly like that.

3. Quick read-over before posting.

If you don't want to set the spell-check feature on (because yes, the colorful details of how rotten a typist is well displayed to your eyes), please at least, stop and glance over your post, making sure it's not hideous with spelling errors and that it also makes sense!

~she kissed him, the sheiks of passion muffled by his lisp, two beasts firm pressed against his own strange chest~

Now that you have that mental picture… Translated?

~she kissed him, the shrieks of passion muffled by his lips, two breasts firmly pressed against his own strong chest~

A much different mental image springs to mind, yes? I have had, truly, with my two own eyes, seen such a post.

Making Sense is the Key!

If it doesn't make sense, all the pretty words in the world are meaningless. There are many common problems out with usage of words, and there are words that sound alike but have completely different meanings. I'm going to touch on a couple of examples, my own personal annoyances and pet peeves.

Taut versus Taunt

A classic example of the sound-alike words used incorrectly:

~she tauted them with her taunt nipples, the tauntess of her belly quivering… ~

In the above example, it basically translates to: "she kept them in proper order with her insulting nipples, too her belly was challenging."

The following is taken from Merriam-Webster dictionary, meanings of the two words, as well as thesaurus obtained synonyms (means the same) and antonyms (means the opposite).

Taut
Function — adjective:
Etymology: Middle English tought;
       "1a: having no give or slack: tightly drAWn; b: high-strung, tense (taut nerves);
       2a: kept in proper order or condition (a taut ship); b(1): not loose or flabby, (2): marked by economy of structure and detail (a taut story)"

Synonyms: tight, close, tense;
Related Words: firm, trim; stretched;
Contrasted Words: flabby; relaxed;
Antonyms slack.

Taunt
Function — noun:
       "A sarcastic challenge or insult"

Function — transitive verb:
Etymology: perhaps from Middle French tenter to try, tempt;
       "To reproach or challenge in a mocking or insulting manner: jeer at"

Synonyms: ridicule, deride, lout, mock, quiz, rally, razz, scout, twit;
Related Words: banter, chaff; provoke; upbraid; disdain, scorn; affront, insult, offend, outrage

Toned Legs

A classic example of improper use of a word:

~she walked gracefully with toned legs… ~

Toned? How so? Are her legs toned, as in, musical? Or, tinted a specific color? The proper way of using the word "tone" in which the typist was meaning her post to be read would be as follows:

~she walked gracefully with firmly-toned, well-shaped legs… ~

The following is taken from Merriam-Webster dictionary, the many different meanings and interpretations of the word tone, as well as thesaurus obtained synonyms (means the same) and antonyms (means the opposite).

Function — adjective:
       "1: having tone or a specified tone: characterized or distinguished by a tone;
       2: having a slight tint."

Function — verb:
Inflected Form(s): toned; toning;
Transitive Senses:
       "1: Intone;
       2: to give a particular intonation or inflection to;
       3a : to impart tone to: strengthen (medicine to tone up the system), b: to soften or reduce in intensity, color, appearance, or sound: mellow, c: to change the normal silver image of (as a photographic print) into a colored image;"

Intransitive senses;
       "1: to assume a pleasing color quality or tint;
       2: to blend or harmonize in color."

Uses in which the state of a living body or any of its organs or parts in which the functions are healthy and performed with due vigor: "diet and exercise contributed to her good muscle tone";
Idioms (the) state of things;
Synonyms: inflection, accent, intonation, vein, fashion, manner, mode, style, color, cast, hue, shade, tinge, tint; tonicity, temper, mood, spirit, timbre, humor, mind, strain, temper;
Related Words: blend, health, healthiness; elasticity, resiliency; strength, vigorcurrent, movement

Slave Speech

The ever-continuing debate in virtual chat rooms, with respect to Gor, is the proper method of speaking with regards to slaves. Debates include the use of first-person over third-person speech and the manner in which a slave may greet or bid someone farewell. The only one agreement among all Gorean chatters is the manner in which a slave may address a free.

A Gorean slave, incidentally, always addresses free men as "Master," and all free women as "Mistress." — Captive of Gor, page 73.

Certainly, John Norman does teach the reader that there is a set of rules defined as slave speech which we will now explore.

Addressing a Free by Name
Rarely is a slave allowed to address her master by name, at least publicly. It's a common belief that a slave will grow too bold should she be allowed something reserved as a privilege of a free peson. Even still, Goreans are sensitive about their names, being a superstitiuos lot, and often utlize two names; their real name, which is rarely admitted, and their use name.

"I smiled a Vika's very natural correction of her mode of addressing me, for a slave girl is seldom permitted, at least publicly, to address her master by his name, only his title. The privilege of using his name, of having it on her lips, is, according to the most approved custom, re-served for that of a free woman, in particular a Free Companion. Gorean thinking on this matter tends to be expressed by the saying that a slave girl grows bold if her lips are allowed to touch the name of her master. On the other hand, I, like many Gorean masters, provided the girl was not testing or challenging me, and provided that free women, or others, were not present whom I had no wish to offend or upset, preferred as a matter of fact to have my own name on the girl's lips, for I think, with acknowledged vanity, that there are few sounds as pleasurable as the sound of one's own name on the lips of a beautiful woman." — Priest-Kings of Gor, page 206.

After a time she lifted her head. "May I call you Tarl?" she asked.
       "Only if given permission," I told her. This was normal Gorean slave custom. Generally, of course, such permission is not even asked, and, if asked, would be denied. Sometimes a girl is whipped for even daring to ask this permission.
       "A girl asks permission to call her Master by his name," she said.
       "It is denied," I said.
       "Yes, Master," she said. I would not permit the slave girl to speak my name. It is not fitting that the name of the master be soiled by being touched by the lips of a slave girl. — Tribesmen of Gor, page 360.

Tasdron, with a snapping of his fingers calling Peggy to her feet, removed his collar from about her neck, and she ran to stand, head down, deferential and bound, near Callimachus. I threw Aemilianus the key to the collar of Shirley, and he removed it from her. I myself took the steel of my collar from Lola's throat.
       "Thank you for giving me to Calliodorus," she said.
       "Serve him well," I said.
       "I shall. I shall!" she said.
       Slave girls, of course, may speak the name of their masters to others, for example, as in locutions such as, "I am the girl of Calliodorus of Port Cos," or "I come from the house of Calliodorus." It is only that they are seldom, in addressing the master himself, permitted to use his name. He is usually addressed simply as "Master," or as "my Master." — Guardsman of Gor, page 270.

"Moreover, Goreans are extremely sensitive about names, and who may speak them. Indeed, some, particularly those of low caste, even have use names, concealing their true names, lest they be discovered by enemies and used to conjure spells against them. Similarly, slaves, on the whole, do not address free men by their names. " — Assassin of Gor, page 12.

First-Person or Third-Person?
Which is the correct method of slave speech? The answer is — both. While under normal circumstances, the kajira spoke in proper first-person speech. However, there were instances and situations in which the kajira spoken in partial third person; that is to say, she referred to herself in third person. Those circumstances were generally when the kajira had been remiss on something, and the use of third person to denote herself was a method of being deferential, of being reminded she is only a slave.

In the books, John Norman offers the readers various tidbits of information that demonstrate perfectly how the kajira is expected to conduct herself in order to be pleasing, as well as make statements regarding her slavery, in keeping the with rules of each situation. These rules are never a matter of whim; each rule impresses upon the kajira that simply fact that her existence has the sole purpose of being pleasing, and should she fail, she is punished.

The use of third person speech of a slave with regards to herself is often described as slave speech. It is a profound reminder that the kajira is only a slave, one without status or caste, her life a gift by the one who owns her. There are instances cited in the books that should a master desire is to remind his girl of this, he may demand that she speak in this manner. We read, too, of those situations, the kajira in her placatory pleas or in the throes of passion, may on her own revert to this method of speech.

Note too, that the requirement to "speak as a slave" may also be directed by another slave.

"Does Phyllis remember the lash?" asked Flaminius.
       The girl's eyes widened with fear. "Yes," she said.
       "Then say so," said Flaminius.
       I whispered in Gorean to Ho-Tu, as though I could not understand what was transpiring. "What is he doing with them?"
       Ho-Tu shrugged. "He is teaching them they are slaves," he said.
       "I remember the lash," said Phyllis.
       "Phyllis remembers the lash," corrected Flaminius.
       "I am not a child!" she cried.
       "You are a slave," said Flaminius.
       "No," she said. "No!"
       "I see," said Flaminius, sadly, "it will be necessary to beat you."
       "Phyllis remembers the lash," said the girl numbly.
       "Excellent," said Flaminius. "Phyllis will be good. Phyllis will eat her gruel. Phyllis will drink her water."
       She looked at him with hatred
       His eyes met hers and they conquered. She dropped her head, turning it to one side. "Phyllis will be good," she said. "Phyllis will eat her gruel. Phyllis will drink her water."
       "Excellent," commended Flaminius. — Assassin of Gor, page 12.

---Assassin of Gor, 11:131

"Buy me!" she begged. "Buy me! You are rich! You can buy me!"
       "Is that how a slave begs?" I asked.
       "Buy Tana!" she wept. "Buy Tana!" She extended her chained wrists to me. I took her by the arms, and kissed her, long. I tasted the slave rouge in my mouth. — Hunters of Gor, page 61.

"Do you repent of the error of your ways?" I asked.
       "Yes, Master," she said.
       "Who repents of the error of her ways?" I asked.
       "Tafa repents of the error of her ways," she said.
       "Who is sorry, who begs forgiveness?" I asked.
       "Tafa is sorry! Tafa begs forgiveness!" she said. — Magicians of Gor, page 123.

By the hair, Ute, bending over me, yanked my head painfully up. "Who betrayed Ute?" she demanded. I shook my head. Ute's fists were excruciating in my hair.
       "Who?' she demanded. I could not speak, so terrified I was. She shook my head viciously. "Who?" she demanded.
       "I did," I cried. "I did!"
       "Speak as a slave!' demanded Ute.
       "El-in-or betrayed Ute!" I cried. "El-in-or betrayed Ute!"
       "Worthless slave," I heard a voice behind me say. I turned, as well as I could, and saw, to my dismay, Rask of Treve. I closed my eyes, sobbing. — Captive of Gor, page 287.

Imperatives
An issue that comes up often in chat rooms, especially those such as Gor, is the use of imperative speech that all too many slaves use.

What IS imperative speech? Let's explore the definition of imperative:

Function:adjective
Etymology:Late Latin imperativus, from Latin imperatus (past participle of imperare to command) + -ivus -ive;
       1a: Of, relating to, or being the grammatical mood that expresses the will to influence the behavior of another (as in a command, entreaty, or exhortation)
       1b: Expressive of or being a command, entreaty, or exhortation *an imperative rule of conduct* *an imperative tone of voice* : commanding often imperiously *an imperative manner* *imperative persons rush about giving orders* **you must let me speak,* said the woman, in an imperative voice. — Merriam-Webster Dictionary ©2006.

We, in our daily lives, without thought express ourselves with the use of imperatives many times throughout the day. How many times do you say on the phone or in person to someone or in a letter, "Have a nice day!" or "Come on over and visit!"?

Imperatives.

With this in mind, it's only natural that our mode of speech follows us to the chat rooms without a second thought. Most of us don't even realize this; certainly most slaves don't realize that their offer of "Be well" as a free person leaves the room is in truth a command, and something a slave should never attempt! Clearly, the expression is a command; you have just told that person to be in a certain way (as opposed to, for example, wishing them farewell). Despite all good intentions, it's still a command, it's still an order to the person you are speaking to. Therefore, the proper method a slave should bid a free person farewell, is the expression, "I wish you well, Master" or, "Tana wishes you well Master." A

dditionally, a reminder that even in the apologetic form, "forgive this slave" is still grammatically a command. Note, however, the slave uses both, the imperative speech followed by slave speech..

"Forgive me, Masters!" she wept. "You are men! You are men! A slave begs forgiveness!" — Magicians of Gor, page 226.

Nobody Likes Me!

 

"Nobody likes me."
"Nobody pays me ANY notice."

OoOoOoOoOo! We all know these actions and words that fall from the mouths of the dreaded… Attention Whore.

Attention whores can be male, female, submissive or dominant; such behavior knows no prejudice to genre or gender.

I'll call them … AWs for short. Kind of appropo, don't you think?

Not only does the AW whine such drivel as above, but the AW is known to sit around, doing nothing, but mope. Often, the AW will "claim" someone as "theirs" (yes, I've seen several dominant/free woman "claim" a dominant/free man as "theirs" and vice versa; this relates not just to slaves/submissives). and should that person offer attention to another, the AW will often resort to such things as crude comments, "oh woe is me" proclamating touched up with a bit of crying, spilling a drink on the person the AW has "claimed", or other obnoxious and belligerent behavior.

Although unfortunately, a very few will always be an AW, it's easy for any of us to fall into that trap and become an AW.

I Don't Want to be an AW! Help!

Keeping certain things in mind, and striving to be the best that you can be as a person AND as an interesting individual is the key to success in not becoming an AW.

1. "Nobody likes me."

  • Stop.
  • Think.
  • Ask yourself WHY?

Keep a journal of what you do, what you say to others; save logs to later read through and study. Believe me, I've sat back and read through a few longs thinking to myself, "DOH! What an idiot I was!" Do you strive to take part in conversation? Or do you reply with short sentences? Do you have your auto-defenses on with the deliberate decision before even coming into the chatroom that everyone is against you and therefore everything that is said to you is meant to put you down, and thus you reply in kind? Do you strive to take part in roleplay activities? Or do you make excuses?

Of course, there are instances where people have taken a combined dislike to someone, for really no other reason than perhaps jealousy because this person may be a better roleplayer, or exhibits herself beautiful, or he is a better fighter, etc. It's an ugly sight to see happen, but unfortunately it does. I've been there, done that, and I have a good friend who has been the subject of such pettiness as well.

People can't dislike you if they don't know you, and if you barricade yourself behind short, and even perhaps snippy replies, and excuse yourself from participation in roleplay for one reason or another, then no one can get to know you. Therefore, you'll remain strangers despite perhaps spending hours together!

Here are some examples. In this first example, this is an actual conversation from another realms room I roleplay in:

"Hello Gwen" ~smiles softly~ "How are you today? Did you have a good rest? Are you settling in well, or is there something perhaps I might help you with?"
       "Hello Cybele. I'm ok. I slept in the quarry."
       ~frowns a bit~ "And why did you sleep in the quarry? Is something bothering you?" ~a look of concern crept on her face~
       "I wanted to."
       ~smiles~ "Well, I hope you do not think you have to sleep in such a place. Everyone should be comfortable in slumber. Hey! I am going on a walk today, down to the glen. The fey are having a celebration of some sort and I thought it would be fun to visit them. Would you like to come with me?"
       "No. I have to go."

In that conversation, it was obvious Gwen was upset at something, or perhaps felt herself a bit inadequate of knowledge, and instead of taking part in the roleplay effectively, and cutting both her emotions and dialogue so curtly, she gives the appearance of being standoffish and snobbish. The fact that she placed herself sleeping in a rock quarry sent an alarm-bell ringing that Gwen ostracized herself for some reason. Did Gwen really have to go? Or did she simply hang out on MSN or ICQ feeling sorry for herself because she didn't understand what the fey were, or how to roleplay such a scene, and rather than asking, excused herself out of the room?

Although me, the typist behind Cybele has been long involved in roleplay, and may understand a scene about to happen, doesn't mean that Cybele, the character does. In fact, Cybele is quite unlearned in many things, raised as she was and kept closeted away most of her life. So, if something is said that Cybele doesn't understand — Cybele will ask!

So, now can you see the gist of roleplay here? You can't assume someone knows how you feel, and even when they type out their feelings, be it in brackets, italics, cutsy symbols, et al, you still don't know a person's feelings because they don't "speak" them to you. The key to good roleplay is to make sure you distinguish between thought and action both your own and that of others you are roleplaying with.

2. "Nobody pays me any attention." -and-
"S/he doesn't pay me any attention anymore."

  • Stop.
  • Think.
  • Ask yourself WHY?

Are you keeping that journal? Saving those logs to re-read? Okay, so… what have you done? Do you apply yourself to roleplay when you're alone? Do you apply yourself to roleplay even when others are around and involved in their own roleplay? Or do you sit and say nothing, do nothing. Do you throw yourself upon people, crawling on them, spreading your legs and begging sexual attentions? Do you sit there in a huff because he's getting the attentions of all the females, free and slave, while you are at a level of frustration because none seem to want to be around you?

I will say that the latter instance is less rare only because there are far more females chatting than there are men.

In order to receive attention, you have to be … interesting. The only way you can truly be interesting if you apply yourself in roleplay — and that doesn't mean crawl on someone's lap or rub yourself on someone who hasn't asked you to do so just to gain their attention. It will earn you — maybe — a few moments of sexual attention, but that's it.

There are slaves that think they have to be little fuck beasts 24/7, and there are those Dominants that think all slaves want to do is be fuck beasts 24/7 (and, of course, there are Dominants who are bigger sluts than the slaves). It's a part of, but not the singular, of an M/s relationship.

You want to catch someone's eye, then you have to make yourself interesting. Everyone loves a challenge!

If you offer someone candy, they're going to eat it. Will they enjoy it? Yes — for about as long as the candy lasts. After that, that person will look for something to hold his or her interest, that will offer a challenge.

In order for a relationship to develop, you have to get to know others. You can't do that by sitting around doing nothing but moping and feeling sorry for yourself. Nobody else feels sorry for you, so if you want some recognition of the person that you are then — Attention K-Mart Customers! The only one responsible for ensuring that you get some recognition is — YOU!

But, the key is to do it properly, and not force yourself on anyone, like … crawling on a person's lap without such being asked for or spilling a drink on someone and placing the blame for such on them or exhaling the "woe is me" diatribe.

  • Involve yourself in roleplay, even if you have to do something by yourself. Be detailed in your roleplay, paint those pictures for others because ninety percent (90%) of the time, they are watching you even though they may be involved in another roleplay.
  • Roleplay can be simple. Even chores or performing your occupation can be made interesting to others if you put some fun and your own special touch to it.
  • Keep a roleplay journal and post it for everyone to read, be it roleplay you have done solo or with others. Post links to your journal in the manner prescribed by the rules of your home, so that others can read and learn about you.

I remember once "swimming beneath the ground" that caught the eye of someone special. Silly things, yes, but I did so as a dreamy-eyed girl trying in her own manner to set herself apart from everyone else.

Very often, when I play Cybele, she is on her own, and will go talk to horses or ancient trees, go for walks, torment the master cook, go in search of answers to questions she might have. It's these sort of things that have been noticed moreso than bringing someone a goblet of ambrosia.

As I have already stated, that although me, the typist behind Cybele has been long involved in roleplay, and may understand a scene about to happen, doesn't mean that Cybele, the character does. Cybele is but the slave girl of the ruler of this mystical world, but still, Cybele knows more than she lets on, but for reasons known only to her, she keeps them hidden. That is part of the mystery of Cybele. Perhaps she knows magic, perhaps she doesn't. So many scenarios can be built on this mystery of who Cybele is and what she really does know. The fun is in expanding on that roleplay, others prodding to see if they can unearth her secrets. Even Cybele's owner is possibly unaware of what her magical potential might be.

Parting Thoughts

 

Relationships, be they simple friendships to something far deeper, take time to develop and grow. Plunge into your role with the enthusiasm you wish to draw others into. Don't expect to find the love of your life — ever. Expectations like that diffuse the core of your character and generally lead to horrendous levels of disappointments. If that sort of thing is meant to be, it will happen in time.

Each of us has to learn the others around us, and interaction is the key, be it questions, roleplay or simple conversation. Take the time in your roleplay to learn and grow, and above all else Do Not Copy from Others! It takes a lot of work to build a character definition, and when another person decides, "hey, I like that" and takes mannerisms and speech as their own, it's an extremely huge lack of courtesy to your fellow chatters, as well as a theft of identity.

Enjoy your roleplay; have fun with it, while keeping in mind that respect of others must always be a factor while roleplaying, regardless if you roleplay a warrior, a doting mother-hen, a slave girl, a traveling poet… If the roleplay is not enjoyable, then it's time to step back and consider all of the factors of why it isn't, and then correct the situation.

 

 

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Special Note

Many long hours of research went into the making of these pages. Resources such as the New York City Library were helpful in obtaining much of the information presented. Online resources include, but are not limited to:

  • American Heritage College Dictionary, Third Edition ©2001
  • American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language: Fourth Edition ©2000
  • Columbia Encyclopedia, Sixth Edition, ©2004
  • Encyclopaedia Britannica ©2004-2006
  • Merriam-Webster Dictionary ©2004-2006

Disclaimer

These pages are not written for any specific home, but rather as informational pages for those not able to get ahold of the books and read them yourself. Opinions and commentaries are strictly my own personal views, therefore, if you don't like what you are reading — then don't.