The Rattt Trap

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"San Ber'dino "

— by Frank Zappa

Frank Zappa calls San Bernardino, California the "armpit of the world". Having lived there for several years, I can attest he was absolutely correct.

Portions of this song refer to a character named Bobby who spends time in Tank C in San Bernardino jail. In the early 1960s Zappa spent ten days in San Bernardino county jail on a trumped up obscenity charge.

She lives in Mojave in a Winnebago
His name is Bobby, he looks like a potato

She's in love with a boy
From the rodeo
Who pulls the rope on the chute
When they let those suckers go

He's a slobberin' drunk at the Palomino
They give him thirty days in San Ber'dino

Well there's forty-four men
Stashed away in tank "C"
An' there's only one shower
But it don't apply to Bobby

You may think they're
Dumb an' lonely
But you're wrong
'Cause their love is strong
Stacked-up hair
An' a cheap little ring
They don't care
'Cause it don't mean a thing

Looka there...
They don't care

Best-est way that
They can feel-o
Out on the highway
Rollin' a wheel-o
He's her *Tootsie*
She's for real-o
Trailer park heaven
It's a real good deal-o
Real good deal-o
Real good deal-o
Real good deal-o

The rest of their lives
In San Ber'dino
Gonna spend the rest of their lives
In San Ber'dino
The rest of their lives
In San Ber'dino
Come on with me
Come on with me
Come on with me
Down in San Ber'dino
Just 60 miles, 60 miles
Down the San Ber'dino freeway
They got some dark green air
An' you can choke all day
That's right!
Gonna spend the rest of their lives
Rest of their lives
Rest of their lives

Say now
Ain't talkin' 'bout Fontana
Ain't talkin' 'bout uh uh
Ain't talkin' 'bout uh uh
Ain't talkin' 'bout uh uh
Ain't talkin' 'bout the Redlands, no no
ZULCH is the auto works
I'm telling you
That's where they take
All the cars that they hurt
Come on and let's all go down to San Ber'dino
Ooo-ooo
Ooo-ooo
Ooo-ooo
Let's-a go down down down
Down in San Ber'dino
Wouldja b'lieve it
San Ber'dino
San Ber'dino
(*Got to call it*)
San Ber'dino
(*C'mere*)
San Ber'dino
etc., etc., etc.
The rest of their lives
In San Ber'dino

Oh Bobby, I'm sorry you gotta head like a potato
I really am

FAVORITE QUOTE

"You like this music!? It sounds like fuckin' Excedrin Headache number four-twenty-two." — Phil, Re: "experimental" college radio

PLEASE NOTE

The star on my pages was a graphic that I made personally in 1994 when I was first learning how to do animations. This star has been a standard on my Rattt Trap pages since their creation in 1994; specifically my newsletter pages, The Back Fence.